{"id":1539,"date":"2021-06-14T11:46:23","date_gmt":"2021-06-14T10:46:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novlr.org\/?p=1539"},"modified":"2025-02-05T17:37:33","modified_gmt":"2025-02-05T17:37:33","slug":"the-diary-of-dante-piper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/the-diary-of-dante-piper\/","title":{"rendered":"The Diary of Dante Papier"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dante Papier is the mind-child of Novlr Author Daniel Piper, whom you can find on\u00a0Instagram<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0substack<\/a>\u00a0and you can\u00a0buy his book here<\/a>.<\/em>\u00a0He has a column here on the Novlr blog (read his intro here<\/a>). Enjoy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

6 June 2021:

<\/strong>Writer\u2019s block is back. Last night it was so bad that I went to A&E. They would not see me \u2013 the inability to write is apparently considered neither accident nor emergency, which I find hard to believe. Saw Doctor Caldwell this morning. Told him (through tears) that whereas in 2020 I wrote 232 novels and 74,693 poems, this year I have managed not even a haiku. He suggested I start a diary. I told him diaries are for teenagers, bloggers and idiots, but he said it might just get me \u201cback into the swing\u201d of writing. I am sceptical, but I am desperate. I asked what my diary should contain. \u201cThoughts, observations and things that happen to you,\u201d he said. My only hope is that this futile exercise will be short-lived. With any luck, this vulgar \u2018diary\u2019 will cure my writer\u2019s block swiftly, and I will soon be able to return to the business of proper<\/em> writing \u2013 poems, plays, novels, novellas, short stories, flash fictions, etc, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing update:
<\/em>Tried to write a sonnet. After three hours, had only written the word \u2018Leg\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


7 June 2021:

<\/strong>Received COVID vaccine today. Had to go to the football stadium. Before administering the jab, the nurse asked if I was suffering from any allergies or illnesses. I told her about my writer\u2019s block, but she did not seem concerned. I asked if there have been any clinic trials or studies exploring the effects of the vaccine on those with my condition \u2013 apparently there haven\u2019t (which I find hard to believe). After receiving my Moderna, I was asked to remain seated in the waiting area in case of an allergic reaction. Because of the lack of research into how to vaccine interacts with writers block, I decided to stay a little longer to be on the safe side. At around the three hour mark I noticed that my arm was aching and swiftly alerted a medic, who told me that a dead arm is a normal side effect. I spent the next hour or so musing about how the \u2018dead arm\u2019 is a rather apt metaphor for writer\u2019s block. A security guard eventually approached, and I asked if he had any thoughts on the matter. He asked me to make my way to the exit as the stadium was closing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing update:
<\/em>Dead arm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


8 June 2021:

<\/strong>Went to a cafe in an attempt to write. Had to move 12 times because of students. Impossible not to be distracted by their loud, banal conversations about drugs, snapchat, tattoos, coursework, communism, electric scooters, drugs, alcohol and being sick. After moving for the twelfth time the barista asked if I was okay, and I told her that I despise students. She seemed put out \u2013 I suspect she was a student. On my way out I was almost hit by a student on an electric scooter. They are everywhere right now \u2013 it is an epidemic. Must write to council about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9 June:

<\/strong>Spent the day toiling over my iPhone wallpaper, and whether it is a proper reflection of my personality. Decided to switch back to the default wallpaper (to reflect that I am the sort of person who doesn\u2019t even have time to change their wallpaper, let alone care about such trivial matters). Later decided the default wallpaper made me look boring, so switched back to a picture of Samuel Johnson.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing update:
<\/em>Thought I had written a poem, but realised it consisted entirely of dialogue from tonight\u2019s episode of Eastenders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10 June:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thought of an excellent joke. Decided to tweet it. Did not have a Twitter account, so created one. Tweeted the joke. No Likes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing update:
<\/em>Started writing a short story titled Jumanki. Realised halfway through that the plot was exactly the same as that of the film Jumanji.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11 June:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am drunk! Helped myself to a glass of whisky from the cupboard to see if it would help me to write, and ended up having six! (Just noticed that almost reads like \u2018having sex\u2019 \u2013 ha!) Feel great! Just re-read this week\u2019s dairy entries and they are very very good! Was wrong to doubt Doctor Caldwater! Maybe a diary IS proper writing! What IS real writing anyway! IS a diary entry really any less valid than a sonnet or villanelle! Perhaps this is my calling! Dante Papier: Profesisonal Dairist! This calls for celebration! Am going to have another whisky! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing update!
<\/em>Am writing this write now!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12 June:

<\/strong>Am hungover. Head hurts (as does leg). Went to Tesco to buy Ibuprofen and was almost hit by four electric scooters on the way home. Must write to council about them. Just re-read this week\u2019s diary entries. Not good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writing update:
<\/em>No.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dante Papier is the mind-child of Novlr Author Daniel Piper, whom you can find on\u00a0Instagram\u00a0and\u00a0substack\u00a0and you can\u00a0buy his book here.\u00a0He has a column here on the Novlr blog (read his intro here). Enjoy. 6 June 2021: Writer\u2019s block is back. Last night it was so bad that I went to A&E. 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He has written over four hundred novels, over sixty-nine thousand poems and over two plays. Tragically, he has been suffering from writer\u2019s block since 2021. He was advised to start a diary by his doctor, in an attempt to overcome the affliction.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/danielpiperwords\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/author\/dante-papier\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1539"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7742,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539\/revisions\/7742"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7740"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}