{"id":1643,"date":"2021-07-07T17:30:22","date_gmt":"2021-07-07T16:30:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novlr.org\/?p=1643"},"modified":"2025-02-05T17:49:16","modified_gmt":"2025-02-05T17:49:16","slug":"every-tom-dick-and-harry-walk-into-a-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/every-tom-dick-and-harry-walk-into-a-bar\/","title":{"rendered":"Every Tom, Dick and Harry walk into a bar"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>Dante Papier is the mind-child of Novlr Author Daniel Piper, whom you can find on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/danielpiperwords\/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Instagram<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/dantepapier.substack.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">substack<\/a>\u00a0and you can\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/gp\/product\/1912618907\/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=novlr-21&amp;creative=6738&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=1912618907&amp;linkId=050acddffc9c4956d4d1e772e12d0fbb\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">buy his book here<\/a>.<\/em>\u00a0<em>Dante keeps a writing diary here on the Novlr blog (<a href=\"https:\/\/wp.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/a-new-series-introducing-dante-papier\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">read his intro here<\/a>). Enjoy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">21 June:<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Am troubled. My urine smells funny. Been to the toilet thrice today and noticed it every time. Have been on Google and have decided it is either catastrophic organ failure or a brain tumour. Both fatal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">22 June:<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Went on TikTok in an attempt to find writing inspiration. Was horrified by what I found. It saddens me that, when asked what they would like to do when they grow up, instead of \u2018become an astronaut\u2019 or \u2018become a talented and accomplished writer\u2019, today\u2019s children are much more likely to reply, \u2018dance on the spot whilst pointing at bits of text.\u2019 Tragic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Saw Doctor Caldwell about my smelly wee. Apparently I am eating too much asparagus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">23 June:<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Created a TikTok account. Posted a video of me dancing on the spot to Stravinsky\u2019s Rite of Spring whilst pointing at various writing tips (\u2018Seek the truth and the truth ye shall find\u2019, \u2018Wearing ear defenders to avoid distractions\u2019, \u2018Read the greats: Byron, Shelley, Papier, etc\u2019). Will log on tomorrow to check Likes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">24 June:<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Deleted TikTok account.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">25 June:<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Thought of a brilliant joke. Every Tom, Dick and Harry walk into a bar. Not sure what happens, but just imagine every single Tom, Dick and Harry, all in one bar! Madness!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">26 June:<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Went for a drink with a friend. Got into a heated argument about The World is Not Enough. He claimed it to be \u201cBrosnan\u2019s best\u201d and at one point even said it was \u201cbetter than Goldeneye\u201d. I stormed out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">27 June:<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Decided I should read more non-fiction to improve my general knowledge. Went to Waterstones but panicked at the size of the non-fiction section and ended up buying a book about former England goalkeeper David Seaman. V interesting, but suspect it has only improved my general knowledge of David Seaman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dante Papier is the mind-child of Novlr Author Daniel Piper, whom you can find on\u00a0Instagram\u00a0and\u00a0substack\u00a0and you can\u00a0buy his book here.\u00a0Dante keeps a writing diary here on the Novlr blog (read his intro here). Enjoy. 21 June: Am troubled. My urine smells funny. Been to the toilet thrice today and noticed it every time. Have been [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":7748,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"1280","footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[84],"class_list":["post-1643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing-tips","tag-fiction","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Every Tom, Dick and Harry walk into a bar | The Novlr Reading Room<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/every-tom-dick-and-harry-walk-into-a-bar\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Every Tom, Dick and Harry walk into a bar | The Novlr Reading Room\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dante Papier is the mind-child of Novlr Author Daniel Piper, whom you can find on\u00a0Instagram\u00a0and\u00a0substack\u00a0and you can\u00a0buy his book here.\u00a0Dante keeps a writing diary here on the Novlr blog (read his intro here). 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He has written over four hundred novels, over sixty-nine thousand poems and over two plays. Tragically, he has been suffering from writer\u2019s block since 2021. He was advised to start a diary by his doctor, in an attempt to overcome the affliction.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/danielpiperwords\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/author\/dante-papier\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1643"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7749,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions\/7749"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7748"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.novlr.org\/the-reading-room\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}