How do you write the ordinary?

“Hi, I have a fairly easy time writing all the meat and potato bits of my story but it’s the normal everyday stuff I struggle with. A lot of my writing involves the metaphysical which I can do but characters sitting down having dinner together? I just feel I can’t make it convincing. How can I improve with this?”

I think this is such a great question! So much of the writing advice and education out there focuses on the big plot moments, the characters changes and the story world that it’s so easy to forget the importance of the moments that are simply ordinary.

Writing the extraordinary can so often feel easier than capturing ordinary moments. When you’re writing an epic battle scene or a sweeping romance, our imaginations soar with possibilities. It’s easy to get lost in the moment and let the fantasy carry you. But making a simple dinner conversation engaging? That’s an art in itself. So how do you write the ordinary?

Why ordinary moments matter

Everyday scenes aren’t often spoken of, but they server very important functions in your story. You may not even notice them as a reader, but they’re always there, tying the narrative together. So what do you achieve when you write the ordinary?

• You ground your readers in reality, making the extraordinary elements more impactful.
• Your characters have natural opportunities for development.
• You create contrast and variation in pacing that can make the story more engaging.
• You make your characters and story world more relatable and build an emotional connection with your readers.

Making the ordinary extraordinary

Now, just because a moment is ordinary, that doesn’t mean it needs to be boring. Even the ordinary moment need to have plot relevance and serve your story.

If a character is sitting down to dinner, then that scene must mean something in the wider context of the narrative. It could be the vehicle for an important conversation that needs to happen, or it could be something as simple as needing to illustrate a family dynamic (meals together is a very popular set up for character development in the found family trope, for instance).

To put it plainly, even though a scene might not contain action, it must contain purpose.

So how can you achieve that?

Focus on character dynamics

Rather than describing the mechanical aspects of a mundane scene, like eating dinner, concentrate on the undercurrents of relationships. What tensions simmer beneath polite conversation? Who’s avoiding eye contact? Who’s hogging the salt shaker and why?

Use sensory details selectively

Don’t catalogue every moment in minute detail. If you highlight a sense or a detail, ask yourself why it’s important and if it elevates the scene.

If a fork clinks against a plate, or you can hear a napkin rustle, why is this important? Does it punctuate the silence, showing that the moment is uncomfortably quiet? Or does it make a sound that sparks a memory for a character?

Choose specific details that reveal character or mood. This could be the way someone methodically separates food on their plate. Steam rising from a cup that no one’s drinking from. The sound of someone trying too hard to slice quietly so as not to draw attention to themselves. Each of these examples shows character or illustrates the mood of the scene.

Create subtle conflict

Every scene needs tension, even quiet ones. This doesn’t mean characters need to argue or fight. Tension can come from unspoken words, differing expectations, or conflicting desires.

Maybe one character wants to discuss something important while another avoids the topic. Perhaps someone’s trying to maintain proper etiquette while secretly dealing with devastating news. These subtle conflicts create engaging dynamics that keep readers invested in ordinary moments while, at the same time, revealing deeper layers of your characters’ personalities.

Layer in subtext

Ordinary moments are the points in your story where you can reveal what characters aren’t saying out loud. Through body language, facial expressions, and carefully chosen words, you can show the deeper meanings beneath surface-level interactions.

A character might say “pass the salt” while a white-knuckled grip on their fork reveals their anger. Another might compliment the meal while pushing food around their plate, suggesting they’re lying, they’re distracted, or have something else going on beneath the surface. These subtle cues create depth and meaning in everyday moments — aka subtext.

Tips to write the ordinary

1. Observe real life. Take notes on how people actually behave during daily activities. What quirks and patterns emerge?
2. Find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Look for unique angles or meaningful moments in routine activities. A family dinner isn’t just about eating, it can be about power dynamics, love, tradition, and conflict.
3. Keep it brief. Don’t linger too long on everyday scenes unless they’re pivotal to your plot. Often, a few well-chosen details work better than a lot of detailed description.
4. Connect to larger themes. Link ordinary moments to your story’s broader themes and character arcs. How does a morning coffee routine reveal someone’s inner struggle?
5. Use contrast. Ordinary moments can highlight the extraordinary elements of your story. They give readers a baseline for “normal” that makes the unusual more striking.

Common pitfalls to avoid

• Don’t over-describe routine actions.
• Don’t include everyday scenes that don’t advance plot or character.
• Don’t make dialogue too “on the nose.” Keep it subtle.
• Don’t forget to include emotional undercurrents.
• Don’t lose story momentum.

Remember, the key to writing the ordinary isn’t to make it more exciting. It’s to reveal its hidden significance. Every shared meal, morning commute, or load of laundry carries the weight of your characters’ hopes, fears, and relationships. When you tap into that emotional current, even the most mundane moment becomes meaningful.

Think of ordinary scenes as the connective tissue of your story. They may not be flashy, but they give your narrative its human pulse. They create a richer, more immersive world for your readers where both the metaphysical and the mundane feel equally real.