How to Write Characters Who Ignore Their Feelings
When you write characters who ignore their feelings, you delve into a complex psychological landscape that, if done well, can resonate deeply with readers. These characters are walking contradictions, their emotions simmering just beneath the surface. This tension between their inner experiences and external expressions makes them fascinating and relatable to readers.
Behaviour
- Disregard their own emotional well-being
- Focus on logic and facts
- Appear stoic or unfazed in stressful scenarios
- Engage in compulsive behaviours as a distraction
- Will take on burdens without complaining
- Avoid conversations about their feelings
- Can be reliable in a crisis
- Immerse themselves in work or hobbies
- Seen as cold or insensitive by others
- Exhibit control issues, and micromanaging tendencies
Interactions
- Difficulty forming deep, emotional connections
- Uncomfortable with physical displays of affection
- Struggle to empathise with others’ feelings
- Change the subject when discussions turn emotional
- Appear indifferent or detached in social settings
- Perceived as blunt or straightforward in their communication
- Offer practical solutions to problems, rather than emotional support
- Have a small, close-knit circle of friends, if any
- Inadvertently hurt others by dismissing their emotions
- Often seen as the ‘rock’ or ‘anchor’ by their peers
Body language
- Cross arms or create physical barriers when emotional topics arise
- Maintain a steady, controlled posture
- Rarely exhibit nervous ticks or fidgeting
- Minimal eye contact during emotional conversations
- Often have a rigid or stiff walk or stance
- Avoid touch or recoil slightly from unexpected contact
- Neutral or hard to read facial expressions
- Look away or distance themselves from emotional displays
- Rarely cry or show signs of emotional distress in public
- Likely to control voice pitch and volume meticulously, even when agitated
Attitude
- A practical and no-nonsense demeanour
- Often skeptical of emotional reasoning or decisions
- May seem dismissive or cynical about sentimentality
- Value strength, self-sufficiency, and independence
- Pride themselves on not ‘giving in’ to emotions
- Can be incredibly self-disciplined and focused
- View emotional displays as weaknesses or inconveniences
- Have a strong drive to maintain composure under pressure
- Sometimes accused of lacking passion or enthusiasm
- Can come across as disinterested or aloof
Positive story outcomes
- Learn to acknowledge and accept their emotions in a healthy way
- Build stronger, more genuine relationships through vulnerability
- Find themselves more at peace after emotional breakthroughs
- Gain respect from others for their growth and emotional maturity
- Overcome past traumas that caused them to suppress their feelings
- Develop a more balanced approach to problem-solving
- Become a role model for others struggling with emotional expression
- Facilitate a cathartic moment that resolves a central conflict
- Experience personal breakthroughs leading to unexpected joy
- Discover hidden strengths through the acceptance of weakness
Negative story outcomes
- Relationships may deteriorate because of emotional neglect
- They could face a breakdown from accumulated stress
- Might cause unintended harm to themselves or others
- Risk becoming isolated because of their lack of emotional openness
- Can suffer from health issues related to suppressed emotions
- Might miss out on life-changing opportunities because of fear of vulnerability
- Could be overtaken by their emotions in a critical moment
- May lose the trust or respect of peers who crave emotional honesty
- Potentially fail to resolve a major conflict because of emotional barriers
- Their growth as a character might stagnate, leading to a tragic outcome
Helpful Vocabulary
- Aloof
- Detached
- Dismissive
- Stoic
- Impassive
- Restrained
- Unflappable
- Resolute
- Suppressed
- Guarded
- Inexpressive
- Dispassionate
- Self-contained
- Unemotional
- Nonreactive
- Disconnected
- Inhibited
- Controlled
- Reticent
- Reserved
