How do I write enemies to lovers?

“I don’t know if there’s already an article about this, but how should I go about an enemies to lovers type side plot? My two protagonists are in a situation where they are trapped together for a long time, and they are fighting on opposite sides of a war, so obviously already have some resentment, but they do need to fall in love. Do you have any tips on how to make this happen?”

I am an absolute sucker for a good enemies to lovers story! There’s something deeply satisfying about watching two people who seemingly can’t stand each other slowly realise that the tension between them isn’t just enmity but attraction. Forced proximity! High stakes! I love the pressure cooker of tension that comes together for an inevitable romantic payoff.

The trick for writing enemies to lovers well is making both the ‘enemies’ and the ‘lovers’ parts feel equally earned. Readers need to believe these characters dislike each other for genuine, believable reasons and that their eventual love is inevitable. So, how do we make that happen?

Establish the conflict first

Before your characters can fall in love, readers need to understand why they’re enemies in the first place. This isn’t just about being on opposite sides, but what those sides mean to each of them personally.

Questions to ask yourself include:

• What has each character lost because of the other’s side?
• What do they believe about people like their enemy?
• What stereotypes or assumptions do they carry into this situation?

The more specific and personal the animosity between your main characters, the more satisfying it will be when that tension resolves. A character who hates the other just because “they’re the enemy” is far less interesting than one who had a specific wrong done to them by the other character. This doesn’t even have to be a wrong in which the love interest was the perpetrator. It could have been at the hands of someone who reminds your protagonist of their love interest, a wrong committed by their community (i.e. family, village, country), or even come from a misunderstanding between the two characters where each makes an assumption about the other based on misinformation or internal bias.

Make them both right (and wrong)

One hallmark of a great enemies to lovers story is moral complexity. If one character is obviously evil and the other is obviously good, there’s no real journey. It’s just one person learning they were wrong. Instead, both characters need legitimate reasons for their positions, with blind spots that cause tension and get in the way of a quick resolution.

Perhaps one character fights for a cause that’s righteous in principle but uses questionable methods. Perhaps the other believes they’re defending their homeland but hasn’t questioned what their side has done. When both characters have valid perspectives and things to learn, their gradual understanding of each other becomes a genuine transformation that feels so satisfying when it comes good.

Use forced proximity strategically

In the enemies to lovers trope, proximity is often used to chip away at their defences. Putting your characters in close quarters, whether that be physically, professionally, or even emotionally, lets them find common ground and build their relationship organically. You can do this through:

• Small revelations: Have them witness moments of vulnerability that contradict their assumptions. They need to slowly see beyond their bias to see the real person that lies beneath. But these revelations need to happen gradually and organically, rather than all at once.
• Shared goals: Nothing bonds people like working together. When they have to rely on each other, abstract hatred becomes harder to maintain against the flesh-and-blood person in front of them. This could range anywhere from physical survival to professional advancement; so long as they have something in common where their co-operation will lead to a positive outcome for both parties.
• Boredom and conversation: When there’s nothing to do but talk, people reveal themselves. Conversations may start hostile but slowly become more genuine and personal as your narrative develops.
• Witnessing humanity: Small details, like a laugh, a fear, or a memory shared, are there to remind characters that their enemy is a real person, not just a symbol of their animosity.

The slow burn is your friend

Enemies to lovers works best when it’s gradual. Readers want to savour each stage of the transformation of the relationship. To do this well, you can’t just have your characters go from hatred to love in an instant. You need to build it gradually. These phases are hallmarks of the slow burn romance:

Phase 1: Active hostility

Your characters argue, snipe at each other, and make assumptions based on their biases. Every interaction should be charged with conflict. But even here, you can plant the seeds of a future romance. Maybe one notices something that intrigues them about the other, even if they dismiss it at first.

Phase 2: Grudging respect

Your characters should be forced to acknowledge each other’s competence or courage. They may not like it, but they can’t deny it. “I hate you, but I suppose you’re not entirely useless” energy.

Phase 3: Curiosity

Eventually, the animosity between your characters starts feeling performative. They find themselves wanting to understand the other person, even as they resist that impulse. Questions should become more personal and silences become more comfortable, with small acts of kindness that can help them look past their shared enmity.

Phase 4: Denial

This is often where the real tension lives. Your characters are clearly drawn to each other, but admitting it feels like a betrayal of their values, their beliefs, or even their lost loved ones. Internal conflict should mirror their external feud as your characters grapple with their newfound feelings for each other.

Phase 5: Acceptance

Finally, your former enemies can no longer deny what’s between them. This doesn’t have to mean the external conflict is resolved (in fact, it’s often more powerful if it isn’t), but it does mean that it no longer overshadows how your characters feel. The power of love despite impossible circumstances is at the heart of this trope.

Create moments of tension (the good kind)

Enemies to lovers thrives on charged moments that could tip either into violence or intimacy. Examples could be:

• An argument where they’re suddenly standing too close.
• One saving the other’s life, creating an uncomfortable debt.
• Accidentally seeing the other vulnerable (wounded, grieving, sleeping).
• A moment of unexpected gentleness that neither knows what to do with.
• Physical proximity that’s necessary for survival but becomes something else (only one bed, anyone?).

The key is ambiguity. Readers should be able to feel the tension without resolving it too quickly.

Don’t forget the push and pull

Progress in enemies to lovers relationships is rarely linear. For every step forward, there should be setbacks. Maybe one character opens up, and the other, scared by the intimacy, retreats into hostility. Perhaps external events, like news from home or reminders of what they’ve lost, reignite old resentments.

This push and pull keeps your readers engaged and makes the eventual climax of the relationship feel hard won. Just be careful that the setbacks feel organic and believable. There’s nothing worse than a forced setback that feels un-earned or manufactured. Each retreat should have an emotional logic that weaves seamlessly into the wider narrative.

Address the elephant in the room

At some point, your characters need to grapple with what falling for the enemy means. This is where the trope gains its emotional weight. Questions they might wrestle with could include:

• Does loving this person mean betraying everything I’ve fought for?
• Can I separate this person from their side?
• What happens when this situation ends? Do we go back to being enemies?
• How do I reconcile who I thought they were with who they actually are?

Don’t shy away from these difficult questions in the way your characters think, feel, and interact. The characters confronting the impossibility of their situation, and choosing each other anyway, is the emotional payoff that readers are waiting for.