Dante Papier

Written by

Dante Papier

19 November 2021

Novlr Authors

Dante Papier: An Announcement

Dante Papier on the Novlr Reading Room

Dante Papier is the mind-child of Novlr Author Daniel Piper, whom you can find on Instagram and substack and you can buy his book here. He has a column here on the Novlr blog (read his intro here). Enjoy.


Dear friends and fans,

I am thrilled to announce that, after eight long months, my battle with writer’s block is over. Today, I have written my first poem of the year, and I am utterly delighted to share it with you (below). The poem, titled Poem, sits somewhere between Romantic and Victorian poetry (Romanvic), and is loosely inspired by the work of Byron, Keats, Shelley and Adele.

Whilst I don’t wish to blow my own trombone (and it is important to remember that this is my first new poem in a long time – go easy on me, dear reader!), I think it might just be the best poem of the decade, and I suspect it will start appearing on school syllabuses in the not-too-distant future.

If you are moved by this poem, please feel free to send any comments, compliments or commendations, and I will endeavour to respond within 10 writing days.


Poem

I am sitting in a

  cafe.

     I have ordered a            flat

white

and a sausage

            roll.

The man next to me

    is

           wearing sunglasses

       indoors.

He’s an

idiot.

My flat white just arrived

in

  a

    takeaway cup

even though i am sitting inside.

I asked the barista for a

                                             proper cup

but apparently         they

          are not doing

proper cups at

       the moment because         of

covid.

The man in sunglasses

  is

  now

      on  his        

laptop.

He’s an idiot.

I hate it               when people

       use

            laptops

                   in cafes.

It is vulgar and

        distasteful.

My sausage roll just arrived.

The sunglasses man

           just asked if

      I know

  the Wi-Fi password.

I told

  him

                 no.

(It

is    

espresso.)

He’s an idiot.

The barista just

               came over and told

     me and the sunglasses man

                  that the cafe has a

               “No laptops” policy

during the weekend.

I explained to him

  that this is

                  actually

                               an

                                   iPad

but he did not seem to care

so I am going to have to

finish

the poem

now.