How do you stop overusing participial phrases?
“Hello! Idk if this is a common problem or not but recently I’ve found out that I overuse participial phrases in my writing. More so I do it in a way that sounds awkward. I try to cram too much in a sentence but they are all important bits. Problem is it sounds visibly crammed in. I was wondering if there is a way to do this smoothly? Or any exercise that will help me let go of this death grip on participial phrases?”
First, congratulations on identifying a specific pattern in your writing! Seeing those patterns is often the bit we struggle with most as writers, so the fact you’ve already identified it as a shortcoming means you’re looking at your work with a critical eye. And once you understand why you default to them, it becomes easier to find different ways of phrasing things.
So, what are participial phrases, anyway?
A participial phrase is a group of words beginning with a participle (a verb form ending in -ing, -en, or -ed) that acts as an adjective to modify a noun. Examples of participles might be “running,” “broken,” “sitting,” or “exhausted.” And a participial phrase might look like “Running through the park, she spotted her friend” or “Exhausted from the long journey, he collapsed on the couch.”
Participial phrases are useful for adding action or description to a sentence without starting a new clause. For example: “Running toward the station, Maria checked her watch.”
The phrase “running toward the station” tells us what Maria is doing while she performs an action, checking her watch.
Why do we overuse participial phrases?
Participial phrases feel efficient. They let us combine actions and descriptions into a single sentence, which is something we’re often taught as a good thing in writing class. Efficiency helps keep your prose tight. But just because you can combine information doesn’t mean you should.
Often, the impulse to cram everything into one sentence comes from a fear that shorter sentences are somehow less sophisticated. They’re not. Variety in sentence structure is what makes prose feel dynamic, and that includes the flow of how they start.
Practical techniques for adding variety
Separate your actions
Not every action needs to happen simultaneously. If two things are sequential, let them be sequential. Instead of “Grabbing her coat, she rushed out the door,” try: “She grabbed her coat and rushed out the door.”
Vary your sentence openers
If you’re starting multiple sentences with participial phrases, the repetition will become noticeable. Mix it up. Start with the subject; with a prepositional phrase; with dialogue. Your readers crave variety.
Is what your character doing truly simultaneous?
Participial phrases work best when they describe genuinely concurrent actions or states. “Smiling, she handed him the letter” works because smiling and handing can happen together. “Putting on her shoes, she made breakfast” doesn’t, because those are clearly separate activities.
Let some details go
Not every “important bit” needs to be in the same sentence. Sometimes information is better spread across two or three sentences. Trust your readers to hold details in their minds. You don’t need to deliver everything in one go.
